Day one...

July 14

It is fitting that this blog begin on the 14th of the month. I was born on the 14th and it is my lucky number... perhaps this will be the catalyst and accountability I need to be brave and make the changes I will need to in my life. To actually GET A LIFE!

I am currently 4o lbs over weight. I need to remedy that.
I am currently $1,200 in debt. I need to remedy that.
I am currently unemployed. I need to remedy that.
I am not the mom or homemaker I can be. I need to remedy that.
I am looking for peace outside myself. I need to remedy that.
I need to plan and lay out a map for my life and all these things are a part of that.

My dearest cousin helped me with a budget. It was hard and embarassing because I had to face and admit to someone else how out of control my finances have become.

I am short $2,000 a month to live the way I want to live. To do the things I want to do, and be able to live in a reasonable budget. Currently I get my income through Social Security from the death benifit from my late husband. I have to decide what to do now, as my last career as a teacher is no longer possible or desirable to me. SOOO the question is... How do I earn 2K and quickly! What do I do?

I have realized lately, I am looking for a solution outside of myself. Primarily in a man. I have not been with out one in my life EVER! I started having boyfriends at 14, and between them and husbands, there was always my dad, there to support me, listen and advise. Having no one around, male or otherwise, is a terrifying prospect. I need to overcome that.

My home is in complete disaray. I hav more unfinished MAJOR projects in this house than I know what to do with. flooring, wallpaper, paint, trim, doors, all around and unfinished. PLUS it is a mess. I don't like it.

I live in Orem. I don't like it here, and I would like to move back to Salt Lake City where I have my people and support people.

I have the opportunity to have a clean start. I am ready to take that on. I am going to blog this journey. We will see...