OK... it has been quite a few days since writing... not sure why I thought that I would get a million things done at once and that I would be able to post daily. My schedule, like my stomach, likes to hold more than it should. sort of like money, I spend my money 3-7 times in my mind before I even get it in the bank. GRRRR!

I have gone through my Kitchen and organized the cupboards and have gotten rid of the doubles and cooking things that I don't need or are duplicated. I have also decided to have a yard sale to help raise money to finish my house so I can sell it.

Kids are back home and it is good to have them here. I get so short a temper though it is really frustrating.

The closer I get to the anniversary of the wreck, the more freaked out I am getting. My life is still unrecognizable. At least it is to me. I think it has to be with the kids too. When I am away, I want to be home, when I am home I want to be away. this wrestless feeling really needs to go. Not sure how to do that.

I am more interested in moving to Salt Lake County than ever before. Orem feels like a prision. Not sure why. I am equally sure that moving will NOT solve my issues I have with feeling less than and wrestless. because where ever I go, there I am. I need to get a better handle on my life.

Suicide thoughts are becoming more prevalent as I go deeper and deeper into debt. That is scary to me. Still, at the same time, i think it could solve things too. but I wouldn't do that to the kids. Even when I am sure they will be better off without me, I know that is twisted, but there it is.